Quiet Kids

Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World by Christine Fonseca. This book provides specific strategies to teach introverted children how to thrive in a world that may not understand them, that seems designed for their extroverted peers. The book shows how to develop resiliency, self-confidence, and enhance the positive qualities of being an introvert. It addresses academic performance, bullying, and social anxiety. I had high hopes for this book, because all but one of our large family are introverted (the remaining child is an ambivert). However, I had an extremely hard time getting through it. It includes self-reflection guides, tip sheets, checklists, workbook  - style tasks, overviews, q & a sections... What text there was seemed dry to me. The tip sheets were helpful, but the rest of the book just didn't hit me where I am. Too bad.

Secrets of the Interior Life

By Archbishop Luis M. Martinez,  translated by H. J. Beutler, C.M. S.T.L. I read this fabulous book as part of my morning devotions. Bishop Martinez stresses faith, even when, especially when, one is in desolation and believe God is far away. In the obscurity of faith is where one will hear Him (not in feelings). I found so many truths and helps in here! I will be reading it again, aloud, to my children.

Be gentle with yourself

I was having a conversation this evening with Secunda and Quatorze... Secunda getting more and more passive aggressive and, finally, a bit vicious in what she said. I gathered my things up to leave as Quatorze fled the room in tears. Then my beautiful teen apologized and cried. We were able to speak calmly about what was going on and find some solutions.
 
At one point, I said to her, "You are so hard on yourself! And I don't know where that comes from." She looked at me as though I'd sprouted two heads. Then, quietly let me know she just acts like me. My heart broke!!! I made a pact with her that we would both try to be gentle with ourselves.

I tried. I tried to keep my mental illness, my self deprecation, my own loathing away from my children. I don't want any of them to be my age and have to look back on such a life. Don't get me wrong: my life is lovely now. But by the time it became that way I had such an ingrained habit of looking at myself negatively... I am having trouble breaking that habit. And now one of my vital, amazing children has seen and internalized that nasty habit. I tried to teach them that they were loved by God, important simply because they were made in His image and likeness. Unfortunately, my actions have spoken louder than my words. Father God, help me with damage control. Because this negative self image and harsh self treatment is damaging! Give me the words for each of these precision souls. I love these people you have entrusted to me. And I'm learning to love myself. May we be gentle.

Trixie Belden and the Marshland Mystery

By Kathryn Kenny. This series was one of my favorites growing up; and when I came across this one at a Friends of the Library sale recently I couldn't remember reading it. My children have not been drawn in by Trixie and her friends as I was, though I think some of the books have been read by some of them out of curiosity. I wanted to belong as a young person, and had an empathic soul that wasn't really nurtured. Reading about the Bob-Whites, the altruistic club Trixie forms with her friends, satisfied some of that longing in me. My children have each other for friends and we try to volunteer as a family. I was drawn to mysteries; my kids not so much. They like science fiction or fantasy more. I don't mind, although those are my least favorite genres, because they are reading. They also expand into non-fiction on occasion. A steady diet of one type of food is not only boring, but leaves you malnourished. In the Marshland Mystery, the Bob-Whites try to keep an elderly woman from being forced into the Home by the City Council. A rainstorm foils their plans, but as luck would have it, another way opens up. A child prodigy complicates matters, but of course that situation is resolved nicely as well.  That may be another reason I liked these books; nothing is left messy. All the ends are tied up in the best possible way. Not like my life at all. Pure escapism.

Pixie Dust: Wonderstruck

Today's challenge was to pray for pixie dust; asking God to shower His grace, favor, and delight. Then watch for the unexpected ways that might come about. I felt silly praying for "pixie dust", but knew God would work with it.

I borrowed my mother-in-law's car to run errands in Chambana with my son Christopher while she and my husband went to Decatur. We went to the credit union, grocery, library, pharmacy, restaurant, and gas station. At every stop I got to know my son. His great sense of humor, especially. His helpfulness. His joy. Relationship; that's the wonder of pixie dust.

Our Legacy

In Mom's Group several years ago we made a legacy box. It's a recipe box with index cards of questions for us moms to answer  concerning childhood, courtship, marriage, motherhood, and spirituality. I've finally gotten around to answering the questions in this box. Today's question: How are your children the same? How are they different?

A little background; when we bless our children we say, "(child's name), my beloved son/daughter, you are a joy and a delight and I thank God for you. May Almighty God bless you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Primo is delightful, with a quirky sense of humor and a ready smile or laugh. He is teaching himself to respond appropriately to the emotions of others which, because of the Aspergers, is one of his weak points. This shows resiliency and courage.

Secunda is a delight, loving and patient, with my own sarcastic wit (only nicer). She does get overwhelmed easily if she is rushed and so must learn to manage her time wisely.

Tertio is a delight - exuberant, boisterous, and "all boy". He must learn to breathe; well and deeply, when faced with an uncertain situation and CALMLY ask questions.

Quarta is delightful; she is graceful, charming, just a bit shy. She will have to put herself forward more as she matures, so people outside the family can appreciate her gifts.

Quinta is a delight, sweet with a ready laugh. Willing to help. She needs to overcome intransigence about everything else, learn to manage her emotions, so she can feel more self-assured.

Our children are joys and delights and we thank God for each one of them. They each have challenges to face to become all God intends. They are beloved.