Not a nerd at all

My husband is a true Renaissance man but I have definite strengths.

Simplify Your Life

Through my most recent study I've been asking God how to acquire a Sabbath-Simplicity throughout the week. I'm a Homeschool mom who's always in the car and we were adding more commitments. I have special needs kids whom I shuttle back and forth to therapy and doctor appointments. We were looking forward to our first year of scouting and the local homeschooling co-operative. I was maintaining my membership at Curves; both my dh and I are in Weight Watchers. I'm a Lector at church.

We've been in tight financial straits for some time....It's hard in this country to stretch one income. The brake shoes went in our car at the same time the refrigerator died. My parents graciously helped us out. We don't qualify for the state run insurance premium rebate program (which we were counting on) and we found out today we no longer qualify for food stamp assistance.

So everything extraneous went. Co-op, Curves, Scouts, the dance class we were considering for our second daughter; all gone. I still have Mom's Group (that check cleared a couple months ago), Lector, and Bill declared we need to get healthy so Weight Watchers is staying for the time being. And there's still doctors and therapy. But it's greatly pared down. Simplified, you might say.

Now I have to get a job. Wonder what God has to say about that?

Worth all the Excitement

We attended Mass as a family...and it was worth all the excitement! The children behaved beautifully. The homily was great. Our Lord is there.

Last Sunday, I went on my own. Totally my fault-I didn't conquer Mt. Laundry. There were no towels to bathe the children, etc. Forgive me for what I have done and for what I have failed to do.

I agreed to use my God-given gifts again in Lectoring. I did that for a Tues eve Mass. So good to be serving God that way once more.

I LOVE the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Too excited to Sleep

It's after 5 a.m. and I haven't slept at all. The house is quiet except for the clicking computer keys and occasionally the bell of a cat. We're going back to Mass tom.....today! after a long time away for various reasons. Going as a family. I can hardly wait.

To see my Eucharistic Lord again....the only other time I remember being this excited was the night before my wedding.

Fear Not the Night

There will be no more from Fear Not the Night. John Kirvan, the author, has written several books concerning Muslim, Jewish, and Christian Spirituality. Perhaps this is why he shuns the Incarnation. He mentions Christ once, as a side note in a long discourse on the devil, on Day 23. I believe St. John of the Cross mentioned the Reason for our being much earlier. So. On to the next study.

Fear Not the Night Day 10

If we do not bring passion under control it will eat us alive and in the end be the only thing that lives in our souls. If we do not kill it first, it will kill us after making us spiritually sick.

The cure for this is to our lives single-mindedly to God; once agaain there will be peace.

Restore What is Mine.

When my steps are driven by passion, every attempt to practice virtue becomes a sad burden. I am dying. Renew my strength and energy.Restore my sight. Turn my life back to You with single-mindedness. Take away the subtle lure of the dark.

Amen.

Fear Not the Night Day 9

Passion is blind, and it blinds our souls when we surrender to it. It's a light outshining all others, darkening our intellect. But the draw of passion's light makes us blind to the other Light around us.

We Stumble in the Dark When Light is All Around us.

I don't want to grope my way in the dark; please allow me to see the True Light of Your Love.

Fear Not the Night Day 8

I find myself tortured and afflicted at the hands of a powerful captor, my passions. Like Sampson, in the hands of my enemies I am weak, blind, tormented.The greater the number of my passions, the greater the torment. But God refreshes if we just go to Him. "Come to me all of you labor and are burdened. I will refresh you and you will find rest for your souls."

Come To ME

It is time for me to lay down the passions that torment and torture me. Refresh my spirit and give me rest, I pray.

Fear Not the Night day 7

What does St. John of the Cross mean when he speaks of "passions"? As I read ahead I think his intention is to address worldly desires - they sap our energy, leaving us too tired to walk with God.

I understand small, unreasonable, demanding children; St. John compares my desires with these impossible to please children. They're never satisfied.

We get weary trying to fulfill our desires; we cannot find peace or rest or God.

Lest we Grow Too Weary...

I am so weary! From a quest to fill an empty heart and mind with things. More clutter. It means being surrounded by a cacophony of books and music, exploding drawers and toys on the floor. It means going to bed exhausted and waking tired.

"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden; and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden light." He doesn't say we'll rest forever; but when we're refreshed by His Presence, there's work to be done. Thank you, dear Lord , for keeping me just busy enough to prevent the fear from forming.

Fear Not the Night Day 6

The purpose of the journey upward (see:Moses) is to be alone with the Lord; no distractions or other passions. Until our passions are eliminated we will not arrive at the top, no matter how much virtue we practice.

Leave Everything Behind

If I am to make this journey to meet,talk, and join with You I must bring nothing with me. The purpose of the journey is to be alone with God with nothing but the desire to be with Him.

Fear of the Night Day 4

The foolish ones are those who still cling to the things of this world. We are diminished by the trivial things we treasure. True riches are found only in Him. It's not easy to let go of things that cannot satisfy the soul.

I knew people could marginalize us - I didn't realize things could as well.

We Are What We Love

(Yeah, girlfriend Eve, I still want to be God. At least I want to love Him in His three Persons so well no one can tell us apart.) "I am...diminished by the trivial things I treasure. You alone can satisfy my soul."

I travel by night and see by the light of faith; descend on my soul like a river of peace to take away my fear of the dark.

Fear of the night Day 5

"The difference between what we desire and the total transformation in God that is offered to us is enormous. 'Whoever of you does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.' "

I want to be His disciple, but I'm frightened of renouncing everything; I'm comfortable here. But Jesus wants us to let go of all that separates us from the Father. Otherwise, we'll not see the Spirit, because our possessions are in the way of His transforming power.

Let Go Of What You Have.

I know it's foolish to think I can achieve union with You without first emptying my life of my trivial passions and possessions. You have offered me total transformation.

Descend on my soul like a river of peace to take away my uncertainties, my fear of the dark.

How do these things happen?

One of the children's bedrooms was at one time a living room and has a large plant hook screwed into the ceiling. The bed is now directly under it, but it sits on the floor. My 5 yr old son who lives somewhere on the autism spectrum needs a blankie to sleep. The blankie has one small space where the lining has come away from the fabric. Have I set the scene?

This child somehow threw his blankie in the air, catching that small hole on the plant hook, thereby leaving the blankie hanging from the ceiling, out of reach of everyone. And it's bedtime.So here I am standing on the windowsill because it's taller than the bed using a stick horse to guide the blankie off the hook.

It took about fifteen minutes; we avoided a meltdown because what Mommy was doing and what she was mumbling was SSOOO interesting. Should I mention these windows have no curtains because the child pulled them down in a sensory fit? I wonder what the neighbors thought. How do these things happen?