I have just finished reading The Five Love Languageshttp://www.5lovelanguages.com/by Dr. Gary Chapman. I requested that Bill read a couple of chapters and take the assessment. Boy, am I glad I did! I knew immediately what my primary love language is, but wrongly assumed Bill's because of his loving actions toward me.
The 5 languages of love are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. I knew my primary language is physical touch, but did not know how close a second quality time was until I used the assessment tool in the book. I was also surprised to find not one answer in the receiving gifts category.
Bill tells me many times a day he loves me; I assumed his love language is words of affirmation. However, that is number three from his assessment. His primary language is quality time, followed closely by physical touch. Amazingly, he had only 1 answer in the receiving gifts category.
So based on this assessment and what we've read, we've made some decisions. We're planning day trips (with the children) where we can spend some quality time together; picnics, letterboxing, parades. We've determined to touch each other when we say "I love you". Our checkbook will be happy that for the most part (with the exception of books and chocolate) giving gifts has gone by the wayside.
Now I have to get the book The Five Love Languages of Children http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Children/dp/1881273652 and figure out Primo - Quinta. I want them to feel loved by us in every way possible, but most especially in the way that most says "love" to them.
This was a great book, with tremendous insight. I look forward to loving Bill even better now and being loved even better in return.