I recently received information that a man I once knew well may be a sexual predator ... of his daughters. The information came from a source I trust, for the most part, and put with my own observations, the charge was, unfortunately, believable. He may not have actually molested his girls; I have no interest in tearing up a family on hearsay (which is the quandary my source is in as well). At the very least, he is guilty of being ... inappropriate with his daughters.
I was horrified; my stomach was in knots. You must understand, this person was once very close to me, and I still have an interest in his well-being. So I poured out the story to my beloved husband, asking, "What do I do?!" His response? "Pray." But I had tried that and got nowhere, because my worries shadowed my words and I didn't know what to pray for. Should I pray he stop drinking - these "incidents" only occur when he's drunk. Should I pray he gets caught? I just didn't know. So I wailed to my Bill, "What do I pray?!"
"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done."
I was quiet in an instant. The wonderful Catholic practice of rote prayers would bail me out, providing me solace as they did. At the same time I was reminded of the promise that the Holy Spirit would pray with me when I didn't know how to pray. I was all set. Every time I began to worry about this man's plight, I would say an "Our Father"; many have been said. I am a worrier.
I asked my husband to pray with me. We prayed an "Our Father", a prayer of complete Fatherhood, for the fractured fatherhood of this man. Because his wife is turning a blind eye to the troubles in her house, thus marring her motherhood, we prayed a "Hail Mary", a prayer of ideal Motherhood. We finished with a "Glory Be", praising the true family of the Blessed Trinity for this poor broken family.
I even had an experience that said to me I was handling the situation correctly. Before Mass on Sunday I read the readings then, if I've time, I read through the hymns posted for the morning. Our opening hymn was "The Lord's Prayer". Once again I prayed for this man, and felt calm. When it came time for the opening hymn, it was actually something different, I had misread the number. However, I was still calm; Our Father had seen to it that I could concentrate on the Mass and not on the mess.
I am so grateful for the wisdom of my husband. And I would be ever so grateful, if this situation should rise in your mind, if you would say an "Our Father" for this family.
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3 comments:
October 11th, 2010
One of each has been prayed for this individual and his family:
Oratio Dominica
Ave Maria
Doxologia Minor
Oratio Fatimae
I shall offer up a Most Holy Rosary for said individual and his family, as well as for your family this Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 (Feast of Our Lady of Fatima).
May God bless you and yours for your kindheartedness and empathy.
You will be rewarded for your good deeds. Be a St. Simon and a St. Veronica to others in need.
Offer your shoulder to help carry their crosses when they become too heavy (ala St. Simon).
Offer your veil to others whenever they become too weary to continue. Restore their outward countenance with your special gifts (i.e. veils ala St. Veronica).
Ad Jesum per Mariam ...
Brent W.
;-)
An link that I think you'll be interested in:
http://www.preces-latinae.org/Titulus.html
Hello, it's Brent W. from the previous comment.
;-)
Just wanted to let you know that I offered up a Rosary on said individual's self and family (of whom you are concerned about the possible abuse scenario) for healing and repentance for his transgressions against his family.
I do pray that he will realize the ramifications that his actions are having on his family members, but also the state of his soul.
Additionally, I offered my Rosary up on your behalf as well. For you and your family and your willingness to place this petition here on the Internet with the hope that it might be a catalyst for this individual's awakening to whatever is causing him to do these things.
Self reflection can be one of the most difficult things a person is asked to do. I should rephrase that ... self reflection must be an HONEST self reflection. Delusions, rationalizations, and other self-centered themes / desires need to be placed aside.
Very, very difficult to achieve if one is mired in denial. Very painful.
May God bless you and your family and may He bless the family in question. If need be, TAKE ACTION. If someone is being abused in such a manner (or has been in the past), sweeping it under the rug (so to speak) does absolutely nothing. In essence, it almost acts as a petri dish in which to blossom and spread its taint ... the victim(s) may wind up self medicating, abusing alcohol, whatever to dull that pain or to suppress those memories. And sadly, the cycle continues.
Ask Our Dear Lord and Our Blessed Mother as to what may need to be done. What the Holy Family would ask of you to do.
May God in His unfathomable wisdom and immense all encompassing grace guide you and yours.
Ad Jesum per Mariam ...
Brent W.
;-)
Lisa, PLEASE, if you really think there is the possibility of abuse happening, PLEASE report it to someone. Talk to the mother. Do something. As a survivor of abuse, in a situation where no one did anything to help me, it is so much worse when people know and do nothing.
Leigh
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