A Homemade Life

Stories and Recipes from my Kitchen Table. By Molly Wizenberg, this is a personable book telling of her life centered around the kitchen. I was not familiar with Molly's blog Orangette, however, it seems to have international acclaim. Most of her recipes are accessible for plain old cooks like me; and all of her stories are relatable to anyone. A great read.

Reading People

How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything.  This is a delightful overview of some of the most common personality frameworks by Anne Bogel, best known (so far) for her fabulous blog Modern Mrs. Darcy and her interesting podcast What Should I Read Next . I was selected to be on the launch team for this debut work; as such I was given an advance copy of the book by the publisher. If you pre-order this book at https://www.readingpeoplebook.com/ before its release date of September 19, you'll get some fun bonuses: a FREE download of the audiobook (which Anne recorded) and a class to dive deeper into the 9 reading personalities based on the quiz found on ReadingPeopleBook.com. (I'm an explorer.) The class comes with book recommendations for each type!

Okay. With all the business out of the way, let's talk about the book! I am a personality framework junkie, however, even if you're not, this book is incredibly helpful. We can all benefit from understanding ourselves better and, once we get to know ourselves, we can begin to know others; especially their motives. When typing yourself, in whatever framework, be sure to see yourself as you are, not as you want to be.

Anne begins with a discussion of introverts (that's me!) and extroverts. I learned some things; for instance, extroverts process information in less time than introverts. The reason is fascinating to me. Anne then has a chapter on those with high sensitivity (yep, HSP here!). This was a chapter I had intuitively grasped but cognitively knew nothing about. Since I am also raising highly sensitive children, I will make use of the wonderful bibliography to research this topic more thoroughly.

The next chapter is an overview of the framework found in Please Understand Me II, by David Kiersey. This one was a new one for me and a little difficult to grasp. I believe I am an Idealist (NF), with cooperative tools and abstract words. I will have to read this overview several more times, then read the book referenced to fully understand.

She then goes on to address the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This is perhaps the most well-known framework and maybe the most difficult for some because it breaks down into four dichotomies; thus sixteen possible combinations. I am INFP; introversion, iNtuition, feeling, perceiving. The next chapter continues MBTI with a discussion of the functions (another I'll have to read again).

Chapter 8 was about the Clifton Strengthsfinder, which focuses on what's already working. There are 34 themes in 4 loose categories to find the top 5 themes. This one was brand new to me; just eyeing the themes I came up with belief, communication, empathy, input, and intellection. Next, Anne addresses the Enneagram (I'm a 1, the Reformer, with a need to be perfect). Whoops! Somewhere in here she talked about the five love languages... I seem to have skipped over them. My primary language is quality time.

Anne, of course, explains each framework, tells some of the science behind each, and gives anecdotes from her life as to how each one has helped. This is a gentle introduction to personality frameworks and leaves the reader wanting to study more for himself. Recommended.

Before the Fall

This is a compelling novel by Noah Hawley. One foggy Summer night eleven passengers - ten wealthy, one painter trying to begin anew - and three crew members leave Martha's Vineyard on a private jet for the short hop to New York. Within sixteen minutes, the plane crashes into the ocean. There are only two survivors; the painter, Scott Borroughs, and JJ, the four year old son of a rich, powerful media mogul. The story of their survival is harrowing, heroic, incredible! What happens after the survival is just harrowing, for they are chased by the media. The "objective" news reporters won't wait for investigators to tell them what happened to the plane; they begin speculating what could have happened based on the people on the plane. And reputation means nothing to the media - when Scott refuses to answer questions they begin destroying his. Some go beyond those kind of tricks... Meanwhile, the bond between Scott and the boy, JJ, grows.

Parts of this book were beautiful; parts were caricature. Characters, mainly. As though Hawley has been writing screenplays so long he can no longer write an unlikeable character without overdoing it. A shame. It's a good read, otherwise.

Be gentle with yourself

I was having a conversation this evening with Secunda and Quatorze... Secunda getting more and more passive aggressive and, finally, a bit vicious in what she said. I gathered my things up to leave as Quatorze fled the room in tears. Then my beautiful teen apologized and cried. We were able to speak calmly about what was going on and find some solutions.
 
At one point, I said to her, "You are so hard on yourself! And I don't know where that comes from." She looked at me as though I'd sprouted two heads. Then, quietly let me know she just acts like me. My heart broke!!! I made a pact with her that we would both try to be gentle with ourselves.

I tried. I tried to keep my mental illness, my self deprecation, my own loathing away from my children. I don't want any of them to be my age and have to look back on such a life. Don't get me wrong: my life is lovely now. But by the time it became that way I had such an ingrained habit of looking at myself negatively... I am having trouble breaking that habit. And now one of my vital, amazing children has seen and internalized that nasty habit. I tried to teach them that they were loved by God, important simply because they were made in His image and likeness. Unfortunately, my actions have spoken louder than my words. Father God, help me with damage control. Because this negative self image and harsh self treatment is damaging! Give me the words for each of these precision souls. I love these people you have entrusted to me. And I'm learning to love myself. May we be gentle.

Same Kind of Different as Me

A Modern - day Slave, An International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together. This is a powerful work by Ron Hall and Denver Moore with Lynn Vincent. I was surprised to find it classified as Religion/Spirituality: I simply thought of it as memoir. However, you throw a mention of God in there and you're labeled... and as the book went on it began to fit its label. It's a fantastic read!

Deborah and Ron Hall met at TCU, married, through the years had two children. Ron went from selling soup to grocery stores to investment banking to selling masterpieces in the art world. Debbie and he (mainly Debbie) grew closer to God and to serve Him, together they began working at a homeless shelter in Fort Worth. One morning, Debbie told Ron of a dream she'd had the previous night of a wise man who changes the city. She'd seen his face. Soon, she saw the same man at the shelter. It was Denver Moore, an angry man who refused to sleep inside; a loner who frightened everyone (except Debbie). Denver grew up in virtual slavery as a sharecropper in Louisiana until he hopped a train to Fort Worth. Life on the streets was a step up, in his opinion. This is the story of an unlikely friendship, forged by an incredible woman.

Quiet:

The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. As an introvert, I loved this very well - researched book by Susan Cain. Here in America, we live in a society geared to extroverts. Quiet, more contained, possibly shy people are greatly undervalued as a result. Cain tells how the Extrovert Ideal became the norm in Western society. She cites psychological and neurological studies which show stunning differences between introverts and extroverts. She gives personal stories of introverts who "fake it", recharging in private after their successful outgoing presentation or sales call or whatever. She gives pointers for how the introvert can give a little to better meet the world and how the world could give to better meet those who are introverts, especially quiet children. A fascinating study.

Glitter and Glue

This is a mini-memoir by Kelly Corrigan. It tells the story of how Corrigan, in her early 20's and on a Grand Adventure, ran out of money in Australia. She was faced with the decision to go home and face her mother ("I told you so...") or get a job. This is how she wound up as the nanny to newly-widowed John Tanner's two children. As she stepped into this role, she began to hear her mother's no-nonsense voice everywhere. She had not expected this. Like many "daddy's girls", Corrigan's relationship with her mother was fraught... sometimes distant. Her time with the Tanners is when she first began to appreciate her mom. Later she had her own children and a health scare, cementing the bond she now has with her mother. Who we admire and why changes as we grow and develop. That's what this book is about...as well as motherhood and what that looks like in its absence as well as in its glorious, messy, mind-wracking presence.