Saturday, August 10, 2013

Legacy Box - Wedding Day

I've gotten to the "Your Courtship and Marriage" section in my Legacy Box now.  Yesterday's entry said, "Tell about your wedding day." This is what I wrote:

I had "planned" an outdoor wedding since I could first start dreaming of my wedding. We were going to marry in the amphitheater at Brown County State Park, with blooming dogwoods and redbuds in the background. But May 11, 1996 was 50 degrees Fahrenheit and drizzly so Bill decreed the wedding would be held indoors at the Abe Martin Lodge for the comfort of our guests. It really was the only logical decision to make. But he didn't consult me before making it! If he could make a decision that so drastically altered the wedding day without asking the bride, what did that foreshadow for the marriage? I very nearly did not go through with it. What he saw as a logical decision in just another day I saw as decisions continually made for me for the rest of my life without my input or consent no matter what plans I've already made. We've grown.

Now. A little more information. Bill stayed in the lodge the night before our wedding with his family and I stayed in a cabin with my folks. No phone. (Or cell phones.) We stuck with the STUPID old chestnut of "bad luck for groom to see bride before wedding" (who thought that nonsense up anyway?). The Abe Martin Lodge was our put-into-the-invitation backup plan. I did not hear of the change of plans from Bill (obviously), but from our wonderful photographer. I did not react well. Bill was surrounded by people; his family, early guests, our best man, my brothers (who served as ushers), the minister, the families of these assorted personages, not to mention the Lodge employees who took such good care of us. Many of these people, I found out YESTERDAY, were pressuring Bill to move the venue inside. He claims he can't remember who in specific. I was ALONE. My parents were decorating the amphitheater and my matron of honor, my Aunt Becky, chose to dress in her camper. I guess it didn't occur to her I might need supported.

So I'm preparing myself, absolutely torn as to whether I should marry this man at all. I cried all the first make-up off. I prayed a great deal. What carried the day was putting myself in his position. I knew this man I loved so much was very logical AND very thoughtful. With the weather the way it was, in his mind there really wasn't another choice. And while I was thinking 20 minutes on cool stone seats wasn't out of anyone's capabilities, he was truly thoughtful of our guests. These lovely folks had taken time out of their lives to share in our happiness - the least we could do is make them comfy.

So I married him. I've never regretted it. Shortly before I entered the Church we convalidated  our marriage in the Church. No outdoor weddings for our children; if God calls them to marriage they will be married in the church. Bill had always dreamed of being married in a church; we both made some compromises in our wedding. I hope I teach our children this: the wedding is just one day. Prepare for the marriage.

1 comment:

Melanie said...

I'm so glad you did. :)

It was the first exercise in many, of giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt!

Well done!