Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done

I recently received information that a man I once knew well may be a sexual predator ... of his daughters. The information came from a source I trust, for the most part, and put with my own observations, the charge was, unfortunately, believable. He may not have actually molested his girls; I have no interest in tearing up a family on hearsay (which is the quandary my source is in as well). At the very least, he is guilty of being ... inappropriate with his daughters.

I was horrified; my stomach was in knots. You must understand, this person was once very close to me, and I still have an interest in his well-being. So I poured out the story to my beloved husband, asking, "What do I do?!" His response? "Pray." But I had tried that and got nowhere, because my worries shadowed my words and I didn't know what to pray for. Should I pray he stop drinking - these "incidents" only occur when he's drunk. Should I pray he gets caught? I just didn't know. So I wailed to my Bill, "What do I pray?!"

"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done."

I was quiet in an instant. The wonderful Catholic practice of rote prayers would bail me out, providing me solace as they did. At the same time I was reminded of the promise that the Holy Spirit would pray with me when I didn't know how to pray. I was all set. Every time I began to worry about this man's plight, I would say an "Our Father"; many have been said. I am a worrier.

I asked my husband to pray with me. We prayed an "Our Father", a prayer of complete Fatherhood, for the fractured fatherhood of this man. Because his wife is turning a blind eye to the troubles in her house, thus marring her motherhood, we prayed a "Hail Mary", a prayer of ideal Motherhood. We finished with a "Glory Be", praising the true family of the Blessed Trinity for this poor broken family.

I even had an experience that said to me I was handling the situation correctly. Before Mass on Sunday I read the readings then, if I've time, I read through the hymns posted for the morning. Our opening hymn was "The Lord's Prayer". Once again I prayed for this man, and felt calm. When it came time for the opening hymn, it was actually something different, I had misread the number. However, I was still calm; Our Father had seen to it that I could concentrate on the Mass and not on the mess.

I am so grateful for the wisdom of my husband. And I would be ever so grateful, if this situation should rise in your mind, if you would say an "Our Father" for this family.

Love Languages

I have just finished reading The Five Love Languageshttp://www.5lovelanguages.com/by Dr. Gary Chapman. I requested that Bill read a couple of chapters and take the assessment. Boy, am I glad I did! I knew immediately what my primary love language is, but wrongly assumed Bill's because of his loving actions toward me.

The 5 languages of love are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. I knew my primary language is physical touch, but did not know how close a second quality time was until I used the assessment tool in the book. I was also surprised to find not one answer in the receiving gifts category.

Bill tells me many times a day he loves me; I assumed his love language is words of affirmation. However, that is number three from his assessment. His primary language is quality time, followed closely by physical touch. Amazingly, he had only 1 answer in the receiving gifts category.

So based on this assessment and what we've read, we've made some decisions. We're planning day trips (with the children) where we can spend some quality time together; picnics, letterboxing, parades. We've determined to touch each other when we say "I love you". Our checkbook will be happy that for the most part (with the exception of books and chocolate) giving gifts has gone by the wayside.

Now I have to get the book The Five Love Languages of Children http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Children/dp/1881273652 and figure out Primo - Quinta. I want them to feel loved by us in every way possible, but most especially in the way that most says "love" to them.

This was a great book, with tremendous insight. I look forward to loving Bill even better now and being loved even better in return.

Babies don't Keep

We just returned from a trip to Indiana with a two-fold purpose: take Secunda to a couple of appointments with her Riley endocrinologists and visit my folks. Secunda has recovered well from her surgery; is now walking on her own - even running some with her brothers and sisters. My guilt was assuaged somewhat when I took Quarta to the Doctor with knee pain and he related an anecdote of a 13-year old girl he diagnosed with a slipped growth plate who had already seen three doctors and spent five weeks "rehabilitating" at a Sports Medicine Clinic for thigh pain. The Dr. told me not to feel badly - even doctors miss this.

While in Indiana I sat in my father's over-size rocker/recliner to watch a television program. Quinta, my 5 year old daughter, our youngest child, crawled into my lap. So I got to rock my baby! And gently cry. I have a cross-stitch sampler I had always intended to stitch and frame above my rocking chair, but life intervened with my plans and it never got done.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow,
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs! Dust, go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

I once again got to rock my baby, and I'm a calmer woman for it. Even Secunda's good appointments didn't do as much for my heart as that five minutes in the rocking chair. It goes by so fast. Soon she'll be eleven and we'll be discussing menarche in the van on the way to Girl Scouts (the conversation between Secunda and me this week). Babies don't keep. Rock yours if you can.

Less Than Adequate

My daughter Secunda has been complaining of leg pain off and on for well over a month now. I dismissed it as "growing pains" because she takes growth hormone shots (every night, without complaint - this child is strong as well as sweet). Finally, her regular walk became a sailor's roll, she was limping so badly. Her pediatrician ordered x-rays, which showed the growth plate in her left hip had slipped. This is akin to an elderly person falling and breaking a hip. We were referred that week to a pediatric orthopedist at Riley Hospital for Children (since that's where her endocrinologists are). He examined her on Thursday, said she'd need surgery on Friday. She now has a pin in each hip (because kids with endocrine issues are at a 70-80% greater chance of this happening with the other hip) and is hopping around with a walker. Secunda is recovering well: mommy less so. The guilt at making my daughter live and walk with such pain is eating away at me.

But wait! There's more to feel guilty of! Because Secunda and I were in Indiana at the hospital, I was unable to do any shopping for my son Tertio's 8th birthday Sunday. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. We had budgeted for birthday, in a manner of speaking, but had not budgeted for hospital stay. On a birthday, the child gets to choose our meals for the day and with dinner we have cake and ice cream and gifts. Tertio wanted Chester's fried chicken for supper - we could no longer afford that. We had a meal which he wouldn't eat, a home-made cake which wasn't his favorite, no candles, no ice cream, no gifts. He was very disappointed. And I felt very guilty.

Tertio was made happy again, and my guilt assuaged, with the promise of a "do-over". With our next paycheck, we celebrate his birthday again. He chooses the meals again and this time we have all the things he missed on his birthday. If only there was a "do-over" available for Secunda. She has forgiven me for waiting so long to get help for her, because she is a strong, sweet child. However, I still feel the guilt. God help me.

God's Goodness

"...in thy goodness, O God, thou didst provide for the needy."

My husband's employer gave a small bonus this year. I immediately thought "Christmas!" and proceeded to spend it. The rest of his check was spoken for, of course, with everyday bills. I did not go wild: each child gets only three gifts, but with five children... plus, I didn't want to be in town Christmas week, so the bulk of the money went for three weeks of groceries. I reached the end of the bonus before I reached the end of the shopping.

So. I have two godparent gifts and my mother-in-law left the day before I meet the girls in my Mom's Group for our Christmas Outing. We usually get a little ornament there; so one of the godparents' gifts would be taken care of. I run the Secret Sister Program - so I wouldn't be getting anything from that corner, I THOUGHT. But in His goodness, God provides for the needy. I received three gifts that day, parts of which I could re-gift to my mother-in-law, and one of the ladies made a sweet craft for everyone - which went to the other godparent!

I had worried about the food lasting us until the next paycheck, then remembered the Lion's Club in their kindness always gives us a box at Christmastime. But it turns out, Bill had called to say we got a bonus this year and to please give our box to someone who needs it more. So. God in His goodness, will take care of the needy. I can hardly wait to see what He has in store!

Happy Birthday, Baby

My baby is five! That's right. Today Quinta, my youngest child, turns five years old. I spent six months on bedrest to get this child full-term. She was worth every minute. I had a caesarean section to deliver her. She was worth every anxiety. There were complications with her delivery and I ended up with a hysterectomy. She is greater than my wishes for more children.

This sweet child on her fifth birthday is a bright shining jewel: a tremendous blessing from God. She fills our lives with laughter and dancing. I am more grateful than she can know for her very being and her being in OUR family. I love you, Sugar. Happy Birthday, Baby!

Thank Goodness!

Today I received, via US Mail, an early birthday present. My husband ordered it for me at my request. I've been waiting anxiously for it to arrive because my devotions and daily writing had come to an end until it came in. You see, recently I filled up my journal; where I write my thanksgivings and hopes; where I jot thoughts on my morning and evening devotions. So I finally received a new Gratitude Journal. It has a nice layout, with good questions to help me recall the day and all the good that happened. My birthday's in a couple of weeks, so I was able to justify to myself buying the same journal I had even though it's a bit pricey and a simple notebook would suit the purpose.

I must also mention how very thankful I am for my family. I tend to get migraines; my children are very understanding about being quiet and keeping the lights low. My husband waits on me hand and foot. So last night I developed a migraine. Bill took over making the meatball subs for supper; my son Tertius finished his project in the living room and turned the lights down; Secunda helped ensconce me on the couch. After supper we turned on the tv to watch "The Biggest Loser". (I went to high school with Allen, one of the contestants, so even with a migraine I didn't want to miss an episode.) My daughter Quarta spent the entire two hours brushing my hair and occasionally putting her cool, sweet hand on my brow, which made my whole body relax. She is an extremely loving child and she sure showed it last night. I am so blessed and so thankful.